Worst Jokes Ever
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.