Death jokes
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
You die. LOL!
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
He's dead.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.