Combination jokes
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.