Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Shop Jokes
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
