Shop jokes
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.