Offensive jokes
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
Im willing to sacrifice
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards…
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What is the difference between a stoner and a Mexican?
Stoners have papers.