Frank

Frank jokes

Name

Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

Difference

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Hitler

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

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  • Competition

    So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

    Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

    Frank: Yo

    Fred: Hi...

    Frank: U heard about de competition?

    Fred: Yeah...

    Frank: You wanna hang out?

    Fred: .......

    Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

    Fred: ...I(

    Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

    Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

    Memes

    Museum

    The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

    Wordplay

    A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."

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  • Pedophile

    Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???

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  • Story

    Lemme tell you a little story.

    It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

    So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

    Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

    And finally... you peel back the last plank.

    And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

    BOOOOOOO!!!!

    It’s Anne Frank.

    Funeral Home

    (Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

    Cremation

    When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

    His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

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  • Diary

    Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?

    Concentration problems.

    Gas

    Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

    Hide-and-seek

    Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

    Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

    Balloon

    Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

    Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

    Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.