What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
getting hurt is a bone breaking experience it's such a spine tingling event
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben-- but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable
How does an artist fill in a cv? He draws on experience
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man better than another heterosexual man? experience
Why kind of experience does a feminist have? being a bitch
My life
Tell me when you get it
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*
Now 14y.o. : Oh...
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
