Common Jokes

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.

What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.

What does a rock and a girl have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D

What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?

They are all insane comebacks!!!

What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."

What does my head and hell have in common?

They both have demons in them.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?

It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...