I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
You’re so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked “Are you moving?”
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Why is a orphan favorite game monopoly? because it can actually buy a house
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
yo mama is so poor i saw her kicking a can and i ask her what was she doing and she said moving.
What does Can do after eating it’s vegetables Go on eBay to see how much He can sell the Wheelchair for
I have thrash so i throw it at my sister and say that she is a tchrash can
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box. You put a can of beans in there.
how do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box. you run pass with a can opener.
did you see the blind guy trip on a can...... he didint ether
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas and he said "atlast you can have one"
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]
I got a job at the can factory but it is soda-pressing
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container? A can 'o bull
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.