Autism jokes

What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?

Artistic.

Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?

She had a meltdown.

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.

What do you say to a magician with autism?

Are you "Autism-ic?"

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.