Weight

Weight Jokes

Dude

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

Meth

White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

Yo mama

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

Chin

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

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  • Mom

    Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    Mom

    Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

    Food

    Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

    Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

    Work

    I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.