Dude jokes
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Low taper fade
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
I went up to a dude with no arms, pulled out my speaker, and started playing "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands".
Mase looks like a fat gay dude.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔