Sword

Sword Jokes

Punch

How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.

How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.

How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.

Crime

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate says:

"Argh, It's driving me nuts."

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  • Draw

    My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

    *draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

    "What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

    Pirate

    Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

    First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

    "The canons be ready, Captain!"

    "Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

    "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

    Knight

    What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."

    You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.

    Paul Walker

    When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

    Pirate

    Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

    Because he has ALL of the booty!

    Pirate

    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

    The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

    Pirate

    Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

    'Cause they just wash up onshore.