Suicide jokes

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion. After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma. After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

These gags are killing me!

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.