What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards... The steaks were pretty high
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.
crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
a guy stuffed some cigarrets up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors. The next day he could see only one color... Black
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
