Self Harm Jokes

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

What does my arm have in common with paper?

They both can be cut.

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!

I'm the joke.

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."