Paper jokes
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!
Rock, paper, lesbians.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.