Self Harm jokes

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?

Because everything they do is in vein.

Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀