Relationship jokes
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Stephanie has a great thumb!
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
"Hey Gwen, I'm back."
-Dev
"It's been so long they unblocked it!"