Personal jokes
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.