Law

Law Jokes

Double Standard

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Public

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

Suicide

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

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  • Donald Trump

    Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

    Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

    Thief

    What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

    The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

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  • Evidence

    If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

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  • Gay sex

    In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

    In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

    Money

    What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

    If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

    Irony

    I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

    Fight

    What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.

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  • Prison

    Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.

    Suicide

    If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

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  • Luggage

    I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

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  • Arrest

    I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

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  • Orphan

    Why did the orphan commit mass murder?

    To be on top of the wanted list.