Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public? because the french government was using the guillotine in public on new born baby boys for circumcision
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
If you push some one that's bullying, if you kill some one that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Technically suicide is murder and murder is ilegal so if I kill myself my body should go to jail
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it’s like to be wanted
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal? So that they can be wanted.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off
