Morbidity Jokes

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over? a corpse of course!

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. my friends do. one person never does any of his homework.

eventually we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly commit suicide.

Maude of ghostposter is a dumb christian pussy ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious although I hate her.

What's the worst living thing on planet earth? Humans

What similarities do peeping toms and spies share? they both see things they shouldn't.

How do you get 50 babies into a car? You blend them.

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "lydia"?

Who needs storage on a computer, just use an Asians brain.

Why can’t you high five a Japanese person

Because Logan Paul left him hanging

What’s long yellow and doesn’t float

A school bus filled with children

I asked my mother about her mom. She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where is that place. She didn't know. So I sent her to a better place.

Small People.

I will always rember my dads last words.. Oh wait i've never heard them

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how many you throw.

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.

what does a husband of a woman do when he is horny.he goes on a buisness trip with 100 1 dollar bills

I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man. and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can I'll pat you, and prick you , and mark you with my "D" And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!