Men jokes

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

Like if you think oily men are hot.

I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.

Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Erectile dysfunction.

Your hairline so far back.

Even LeBron James had a good laugh!

Transgenders! Men in disguise!

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?

Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?