Men jokes

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

Like if you think oily men are hot.

I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

Transgenders! Men in disguise!

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.

Erectile dysfunction.

Your hairline so far back.

Even LeBron James had a good laugh!

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?

Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.

Why do Indian men marry fat women?

Because they worship cows.