The 40+ Best Glue Jokes

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died.hahahahah

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun." Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?" Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?" Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna." Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?" Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

how do you know you've found a priest? when little Timmy is glued to his crotch

Q. What do you use on your tuba when it breaks

A. A tuba-glue

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

By:Xzavier

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

What is brown and extremely sticky.......A stick

I know this isn't about glue but here's one: Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.

i put a glue in a man :)

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

what does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in comen? you can tune a piano but you can't piano a tuna? but what about the glue said bob I ? new you would get stuck on that

glue is sticky

hahahahahhhahaha

What is the difference between tuna a piano and glue? you can tuna piano but you cannot piano a tuna. (the person you ask should say what about the glue) response: I knew you would get stuck there.