Death jokes
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
You're an orphan.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.