Dad Jokes

like if u have a dad

Depression hits harder than my dad

What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That's means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

best friend makes 9/11 joke

you: hey my dad was inside the tower

best friend: im sorry

you: I always knew he was a great pilot

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

Your Hairline is so far back it left before your dad

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”