Cut jokes

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because there was a power cut.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

Why don't you take emo skydiving?

They cut the rope.