Wheelchair jokes
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.