Donald Trump Jokes

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?

Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!

Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?

Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

The image shows a damaged Tesla Cybertruck with a 'Worst Vehicle' award seal on the right. Text on the image says "2025 Worst Vehicle National Association of Terrorist Car Bombers". Below the image, there is text saying, "Tesla Cybertruck Voted 'Worst Vehicle' By National Association Of Terrorist Car Bombers. Following its poor performance in the attack outside the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas this week, the Tesla Cybertruck was unanimously voted Worst Vehicle."

Trump is going too far.

He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?

Donald Trump can only F@#k up.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.

What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?

He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."