Tree

Tree Jokes

Banana

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

Christmas Tree

Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?

Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.

Forest

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

Ash

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Noose

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

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  • Bat

    Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

    It couldn’t hang in there.

    Pool Table

    What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

    A pool table.

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  • Man

    Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲

    Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️

    Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮

    Apple Tree

    My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

    America

    Nobody:

    The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

    tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

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  • Salad

    Why did the monster 🧟‍♀️ put the cook in a bowl?

    He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂

    Baby

    What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

    My dick while I'm doing it.

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