Store jokes

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?

They were all family sized.

Why do midgets work at Tesco?

Because every little helps.

Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.

Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?

There are Targets everywhere.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?

Because every little helps!

Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"

Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."

Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.