Stand up jokes

One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."

Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.