Sex jokes
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.