A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
what did the adopted poker player say ? will you raise me
Hey girl are you my boss ‘cause you just gave me a raise #pickupline
yo moms so old she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
hey you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : *raises hand* Teacher : ... The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
We were at a restaurant today and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch. I asked, "what do they raise there? Sea horses?"
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate".
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy ?
Because momma never raised no pussy .
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says "who has seen a cock" all the woman raised their hands "no who has seen a cock that is not theirs" half the woman's hands went up "NO NO NO who has seen my cock" all the nuns hands went up
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Today I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising)
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
You raise me up to stand on mountains said the drawf pornstar on my penis
