Prank

Prank Jokes

Body

When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

Car dealership

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

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  • Super glue

    A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

    Phone

    So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.

    Cookie

    Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."

    Call

    You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

    Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

    Face

    What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

    Finding out it was traced.

    School shooting

    One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

    Thumb

    My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Why?

    To get to the idiot's house.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

    Candy

    You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.

    Person: Uh okay.

    You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?

    Person: Addicted.

    You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?

    Person: Addicted.

    You: What hit you in the face last night?

    Person: Addicted... *laughs*

    (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

    Telephone Number

    Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

    "And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."