Holiday

Holiday Jokes

Sleepover

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Body

When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.

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  • Depression

    if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

    Christmas

    What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

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  • Orphan

    Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

    Santa

    Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."

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  • Costume party

    There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

    Noose

    Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

    The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

    He grabs a noose.

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  • Santa

    Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

    Woman

    What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

    Occupation

    A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."

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  • Emo

    What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

    They are both going to be hanging from a tree.