Health jokes

Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?

There's no stage 5.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?

Head and shoulders.

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

Air quality alert code brown!

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

Why did the rapper go to therapy?

He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.

I poo 11 times a day.

What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"

How to learn your Vitamins:

A = Art.

B = Bouncy Balls.

C = Cookies.

D = Da Sun.

You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!

If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?