Government jokes
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
Why does America have more guns than people?
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.