The 50+ Best Glad Jokes

Orange you glad to see me?

When I was 14 my mum caught me wanking and she slapped me across the face a couple weeks later my dad caught me having a beer and he made me drink 40 beers and I just thought we’ll I’m glad he didn’t catch me wanking

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke

knock knock who's there banana banana who knock knock who's there banana banana who knock knock who's there orange orange who orange you glad i did not say banana ha ha

Dad Sad Bad Rad Nad Tad Glad Clad Plaid Had

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.

In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

I’m glad I’m not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help

Iḿ glad were all going virtul so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings

What did the orange say to the other orange?

I orange you glad!

A person laughs everyday. "Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!

Why are you so bonely my friend I am at least glad that you are not boneless

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Hello if you don't know me (Which you probably don't) my Name is watersharky or ws or Shark. I am a normal weird kid\preteen and that's it. If you want more info on me I will gladly share! Shark out.