Fat jokes

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

Your momma is so fat, she eats insulation and thinks it's cotton candy.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Yo momma so fat!

Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.