Depression

Depression Jokes

Life

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

Suicide

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

Person: Why'd you stop?

Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Hide-and-seek

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

Demon

What does my head and hell have in common?

They both have demons in them.

  • 5
  • Cutter

    Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

    When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

    Emo

    If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?

    The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.

    Trash

    A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

  • 5
  • Friend

    I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

    A depressing but satisfying victory.

    Room

    1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.

    Monday

    Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

    Coffee

    If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.

    Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!

  • 6
  • Body

    Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

    Person B: Over my dead body.

    Person B: *gets the noose*

    Anxiety

    If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

  • 5
  • Maze

    Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

    Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

  • 2