What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
Man walks up to a priest. The man says "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says "No you are not my son." The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says "Jesus Christ your back!"
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
🍷 📺 What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are ✝️ white christian nationalist? They both thank you for your financial support 👍 👍 👌 👌 😘 😘 😊 😊 💰 💰 💸 💸
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake but his subjects showed up at his castle with a christian instead. And he said: NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
My sister: you were born ugly Me: I'm not a mirror sis
What’s Christian and holey?
JFK
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
What's the Difference between Jesus and A Gay Person
One created the Rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
Bale me out!
Why did the ACLU blocked 🚫 📱 the cellphone number of ☺ of a christain nationalist minister because the christain nationalist had a virus on his cellphone 📱 and keep calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card carrying member of the ACLU
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li
what do you call the christian version of donald trump? holy shit.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023
2023: GO BACK NOW! THEIRS 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg! Atheist: you prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest from a zit, one waits until your twelve to come on your face.
