Chinese

Chinese Jokes

Boy

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

Armor

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

Chinese person

What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!

Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.

Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."

Toy

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

Man

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

Inflation

President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.

Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.

Dog

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

Dog

I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"

He said, "Dogs."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."

Donkey

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Sex

What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?

"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"

Food

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

Game

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]