The 90+ Best Bottle Jokes

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions...

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk? -- In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

*A priest walks into a wine store*

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

joe: are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles

joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer

Why Is the Rum Gone?

its always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

if you take a caap of a bottle is it decaptition

2 simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you step 1. Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size) step 2 . Run through Africa with that bottle of water. Perfect now You got yourself half the population there following you

What would throw between a priest and a nun a bottle of whiskey

What did the tomato say to the empty Ketchup bottle "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME"

How do you get a million fans? Just ran through Africa with a bottle of water.

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?

Shampoo

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”