My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week he swears by it, but he’s in denial
scooter McFly
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence He’s just Biden his time
I tripped over my wife’s bra It was a Booby Trap
The man who invented Velcro died Rip
What do you call a really fat psychic 4chin Teller
I never forget my grandpa’s last words Are you still holding the ladder?
What is George Floyd’s? Best pick up line Your breathtaking
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said see them boy over there In the wheelchair, ask him to walk I said, but I’m blind She responded exactly
What is a necrophiliac safe word I’m alive
Why can’t Jesus judge gay people? He got nailed right before he died
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president
They say their is strength in numbers, tell that to the people in the World Trade Center
How are corpses like pools? Once you get in, it’s in it’s only cold for like a minute
Do you know why they call me battery saver I get turned on when it’s below 10
What do priests give children? Syphilis
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and hitler
Usain finished the races
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear zipper from a mile away