Zombie Jokes

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.

What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

What's a cannibal's favourite drink?

A Bloody Mary.

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Graaaaiins.

What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?

Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

What do you call a zombie?

Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

What hood do zombies come from?

Dead Ends.

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!