School

School Jokes

Emo kid

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

Uncle

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

School shooting

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

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  • Teacher

    Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

    Me: Wow, they found the body already?

    Dad: :/

    Family Secret

    Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

    Homework

    Why did the students eat their homework?

    Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! ๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    School shooting

    A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

    Dress

    "Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

    "Shut up and leave the bedroom."

    Mama

    Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.

    Assignment

    My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    I answered, "Happy."

    The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

    Orphan

    Why canโ€™t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

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  • Shooting

    Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.

    Dictionary

    I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

    ...so I threw a dictionary at him.

    Quiet Kid

    When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

    Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."