Playground jokes
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
Only a city council committee would create this mistake.
Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.