Livestock jokes
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don鈥檛 work. 馃槀馃槀
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
I am a sheep.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing? Dead mooves.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.